Uh, hello? Is this thing on? Wait...Heh, silly me. Heinz, it's not like you are leaving a VOICE mail or something. You're writing. See, that, exactly what you are doing now, where you are writing every itty bitty thought that comes to mind. Like that you haven't ate yet today, and that last waffle in the freezer is really started to seem delicious....okay, you can stop that now. Stooooop iiiiiit, people might think you're craaaaazy~So let's start this again, shall we?
Hiii, hello. My name is Doctor Heinz Doofenshmirtz. Your future ruler of the Tri-State area. (So look out for it, okay?) And i figured....I'm here, the internet is theeeere...Why not abuse it with my rants? I mean...there is so much to hate, and only a lifetime to talk about it! And i'm not exactly a spring chicken anymore, if you know what I mean.
So...yeeeah. Just going to ramble here....
Anyone up for waffles?
Getting My Doof On
GAAAAAASP! PERRY THE PLATYPUS?!!! Who…WHAT…WHERE?!!
….Are ALL the platypi just doing this? Is this a new thing? Did you guys have a platy-convention, and decide to make a calendar?
…How many of the months have YOU in it?
(Source: dontclimbontheiguana)
Huh..Straaaaange. Just an ordinary platypus. That’s a weird trick to teach your pet, kid.
(Source: dontclimbontheiguana)
Yeah, sunburns are a real pain. But oh well. It’s not like we could create an inator and blow up the sun XD
Blow up the sun? …BRILLIANT! That’s a GREAT idea! I mean, think of it. No more petty annoyances! No more sunburn. No more having that JERK of a sun wake you up when you’re trying to sleep in. And no more glare while you’re driving your car,almost crashing into that bus full of nuns.
I’ll get on it right away! I mean..what good has the sun ever done, reeeeally?
Panel 1 - OctoDoof by ~DarkwingSnark
Panel 2 OctoDoof Panel 2 by ~yaoiXyaoi
Panel 3 and 4 OctoDoof 3-4 by ~DarkwingSnark
Just so people can see the comic as it looks so far.
Cephalopod is a dying language, ya know.
Is this what most people on Tumblr say?
What, you can’t expect me NOT to.
Wait a moment…That would have been the perfect time to read Perry the Platypus’ file! Nooooo!
CUUUURSE YOU SHORT TERM THINKING!
What, spent it all on more gargoyles? LOL.
NO, I did NOT spend it all on gargoyles…again. I didn’t NEED anymore of thoooose. No no, I just kinda was up all night, and ended up watching infomercials. And, well, I kiiinda ended up buying a lot of useless junk.
Hey, at 5 am everything starts looking like I need it!
Soooo, maybe I have poooosibly went over my evil spending limit for the mooonth. And maaaaaaybe I don’t want to go groveling to my ex-wife . And maaaaybe, just maybe, I’m short money for my next inator project.
So, for all these probable possibilities, I have set up a donation button on my page. Right there. look up….A little looower…THERE! That’s it’s. Good.
For every donation you’ll get a little doodle from a certain eeeeevil scientist.
LIKE THIS:
What is it the kids these days say..Come on and help a “brotha” out? Meh. Works for meeee~
I see nothing speeecial. It’s just a regular old platy-
PERRY THE PLATYPUS?!!?!
…
Oops, false alarm. Nope, it’s just a platypus.
(Source: rosanna29, via heinzdoofenshmirtz)
*sniffle* The reunion STILL brings a tear to my eyes. I know it’s not maaaaanly…But i just can’t HELP it. I missed the little guy so much. Oh Ballooney~
Nowifhe’donlyreturnmycalls..
(Source: platypus-sweaters, via heinzdoofenshmirtz)
O_O
……..
I think the picture explains itself.
Though one wonders if Perry has super stretchy arms?
Gee, Vanessa, you’re starting to look a little green around the gills. Are you getting the flu, or something? Not to win worst father of the yeeear award, but can ya stand over there? Just…Just over there. Liiiiittle fuuuuurther…
GOOD! There, that’s perfect!
…
What? Whaaaaat? Look, I know what you’re going to say. It’s not that your daddy doesn’t want to take care of you, sweetie. It’s just….Well, I kinda got this THING tomorrow, and I reeeeeally don’t want to get sick and have to caaaaancel.
And by “thing”, I mean I scored a hot date with a pretty momma~ Fist bump, or whatever you kids do, for your father! Eh? Eh? Come on and give me some love!
…
Oh, riiiiight. Sick. Nevermind, you stay over there. I’ll just fist bump myself. Boop. There. I’m fisted.
…
WOULD YOU STOP GLARING ALREADY! Seriously, you’re starting to look like Perry the Platypus. And while the look looks good for hiiiim,it’s not very becoming on yooooou.
